Do You Love Me? | When Jesus Asks the Question, Part 8
Key Truth | Jesus doesn't allow our failures to have the final word. His questions invite us to move beyond shame, receive His grace, and walk forward in the purpose He still has for us.
Key Scripture | “He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?’” — John 21:17 NKJV
The more I’ve thought about the hard questions Jesus asked, the more I’m realizing that the question itself isn’t always the hardest part. Sometimes it’s what the question touches in us.
That’s why our instinct can be to get defensive, explain ourselves or avoid the question altogether. But what if the question isn’t meant to condemn us? What if Jesus is trying to uncover something that has been keeping us stuck?
I think about that when I read Peter’s story.
Peter had denied Jesus three times. Not long before, he had confidently declared that even if everyone else abandoned Jesus, he never would. Then pressure came, fear took over, and Peter did exactly what he said he wouldn’t do.
After the resurrection, John records Peter saying, “I am going fishing.”
Maybe he simply wanted to fish. But I can’t help noticing that Peter returned to the thing he was doing before Jesus called him.
Failure can do that to us.
There’s an important difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says, “I did something wrong,” and can move us toward repentance and grace. Shame says, “I am what’s wrong,” and makes us want to hide.
Maybe that’s where Peter was. What he had done was beginning to affect where he believed he belonged.
That’s the cycle Jesus interrupts.
Jesus meets him on the shore, feeds him breakfast, and then asks the question Peter probably didn’t want to answer:
“Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”
Three times.
Scripture tells us Peter was grieved when Jesus asked him the third time. The question hurt. But that’s important to this entire series: a hard question can hurt without being intended to harm.
Jesus wasn’t trying to embarrass Peter or make him pay for what he’d done. He was bringing Peter face-to-face with the place shame had been trying to keep him from looking.
Sometimes the question we’d rather avoid is the very question Jesus uses to set us free.
Jesus doesn’t ask, How could you do that? What’s wrong with you? Why should I ever trust you again?
He asks, “Do you love Me?”
Peter responds, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
There is something beautiful about that answer. Peter isn’t making big promises anymore. He isn’t telling Jesus what he will never do. He’s no longer trying to prove himself.
Jesus, You know me.
And every time Peter answers, Jesus points him toward his future: “Feed My sheep.”
Shame was pulling Peter backward. Jesus’ question was calling him forward.
Maybe that’s why we shouldn’t become defensive when Jesus puts His finger on something uncomfortable. He already knows the answer. He’s not asking to expose us for the sake of exposure. He’s asking because there is something on the other side of the question that He wants us to walk into.
Jesus didn’t pretend Peter’s failure hadn’t happened. He brought Peter directly back to it. But He refused to let that failure have the final word.
Peter failed.
Peter loved Jesus.
Both were true.
But only one was going to determine what happened next.
Reflection
Prayer | Jesus, give me the courage not to run from the questions that touch uncomfortable places in me. Help me recognize the difference between Your conviction and the voice of shame. When You ask the hard question, help me trust that Your purpose isn’t condemnation but restoration. Pull me out of hiding and lead me forward into what You’re still calling me to do. Amen.
Go Deeper
John 21:1–19
Luke 22:54–62
Psalm 32:3–5
2 Corinthians 7:10
Romans 8:1
The Echo | Jesus doesn’t ask questions because He needs answers. He asks questions because we do.
Key Scripture | “He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?’” — John 21:17 NKJV
The more I’ve thought about the hard questions Jesus asked, the more I’m realizing that the question itself isn’t always the hardest part. Sometimes it’s what the question touches in us.
That’s why our instinct can be to get defensive, explain ourselves or avoid the question altogether. But what if the question isn’t meant to condemn us? What if Jesus is trying to uncover something that has been keeping us stuck?
I think about that when I read Peter’s story.
Peter had denied Jesus three times. Not long before, he had confidently declared that even if everyone else abandoned Jesus, he never would. Then pressure came, fear took over, and Peter did exactly what he said he wouldn’t do.
After the resurrection, John records Peter saying, “I am going fishing.”
Maybe he simply wanted to fish. But I can’t help noticing that Peter returned to the thing he was doing before Jesus called him.
Failure can do that to us.
There’s an important difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says, “I did something wrong,” and can move us toward repentance and grace. Shame says, “I am what’s wrong,” and makes us want to hide.
Maybe that’s where Peter was. What he had done was beginning to affect where he believed he belonged.
That’s the cycle Jesus interrupts.
Jesus meets him on the shore, feeds him breakfast, and then asks the question Peter probably didn’t want to answer:
“Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”
Three times.
Scripture tells us Peter was grieved when Jesus asked him the third time. The question hurt. But that’s important to this entire series: a hard question can hurt without being intended to harm.
Jesus wasn’t trying to embarrass Peter or make him pay for what he’d done. He was bringing Peter face-to-face with the place shame had been trying to keep him from looking.
Sometimes the question we’d rather avoid is the very question Jesus uses to set us free.
Jesus doesn’t ask, How could you do that? What’s wrong with you? Why should I ever trust you again?
He asks, “Do you love Me?”
Peter responds, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
There is something beautiful about that answer. Peter isn’t making big promises anymore. He isn’t telling Jesus what he will never do. He’s no longer trying to prove himself.
Jesus, You know me.
And every time Peter answers, Jesus points him toward his future: “Feed My sheep.”
Shame was pulling Peter backward. Jesus’ question was calling him forward.
Maybe that’s why we shouldn’t become defensive when Jesus puts His finger on something uncomfortable. He already knows the answer. He’s not asking to expose us for the sake of exposure. He’s asking because there is something on the other side of the question that He wants us to walk into.
Jesus didn’t pretend Peter’s failure hadn’t happened. He brought Peter directly back to it. But He refused to let that failure have the final word.
Peter failed.
Peter loved Jesus.
Both were true.
But only one was going to determine what happened next.
Reflection
- When a hard question touches something painful in me, do I become defensive or curious about what Jesus may be trying to reveal?
- Am I experiencing conviction that leads me toward Jesus, or shame that keeps pulling me backward?
Prayer | Jesus, give me the courage not to run from the questions that touch uncomfortable places in me. Help me recognize the difference between Your conviction and the voice of shame. When You ask the hard question, help me trust that Your purpose isn’t condemnation but restoration. Pull me out of hiding and lead me forward into what You’re still calling me to do. Amen.
Go Deeper
John 21:1–19
Luke 22:54–62
Psalm 32:3–5
2 Corinthians 7:10
Romans 8:1
The Echo | Jesus doesn’t ask questions because He needs answers. He asks questions because we do.
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