A Call to Husbands
“For husbands, this means to love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” — Ephesians 5:25-28 (NLT)
Marriage is a gift from God, and both husband and wife have a vital role to play in reflecting Christ through it. But in Ephesians 5, Paul gives a direct and emphatic charge to husbands: love your wives as Christ loved the church. This is not casual affection or shallow commitment. It is a call to husbands to embrace a Christlike love.
As I imperfectly attempt to live this out in my own marriage, I find myself coming back to the teaching of the late author and pastor Warren Wiersbe. He provides three essential elements of a Christlike love and offers a helpful framework that unpacks how this kind of love can take root in our hearts as husbands and overflow into daily life with our wives.
1. It is a sacrificial love.
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…” — Ephesians 5:25 (NLT)
While this may require us to sacrifice our lives in the same way Christ gave his life for the church, it may also look like giving up the plan we have for our own lives in favor of our wives. As husbands, loving our wives sacrificially means willingly allowing her needs to be priority over our own.
This means not keeping tally. This means keeping no record of wrongs. This means choosing daily to think of her needs and desires first before ever thinking of our own.
There can be no selfishness when it comes to loving our wives as Christ loved the church. We say to our wives: “I am submitted to Christ, therefore I will serve you.”
2. It is a sanctifying love.
“…to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” — Ephesians 5:26 (NLT)
To be sanctified means to be “set apart.” As husbands, we are to love our wives in such a way that she becomes more like Christ — set apart — by being married to us.
This kind of love is not passive. It means speaking truth from God’s Word into her life, praying with her and for her, and creating an environment where Christ is honored in the home. Our love should point her toward Jesus, helping her become more radiant in her faith and more confident in who she is in Him.
Husbands, we are to look at our wives and ask, “Is she becoming more like Jesus?” If the answer is no, we must look at ourselves and ask, “Have I been serving her sacrificially as Christ served the church?”
3. It’s a satisfying love.
“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” — Ephesians 5:28 (NLT)
A husband’s love is to be nourishment for his wife. If the husband puts his wife’s needs first and is helping her become more like Christ, it is going to be satisfying to her.
In addition, Paul is saying that any husband who sacrificially loves and serves his wife is really caring for himself. When both spouses feel loved and cared for, it enables both to yield to the main goal of marriage outlined by Paul earlier in verse 21: to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
When mutual submission to one another and to Christ are present inside the covenant of marriage, joy and satisfaction will naturally be the result.
Reflection | Husbands, does your love make it easier for your wife to follow Jesus? Ask God to show you one practical way this week that you can serve, encourage, or sacrifice so that your wife is strengthened in her walk with Christ.
Prayer | Lord, thank You for the gift of my wife. Teach me to love her as You love the church with a sacrificial, purifying, and life-giving love. Help me to lead her closer to You, not through control but through service, humility, and grace. May my love for her reflect Your love for me. Amen.
Marriage is a gift from God, and both husband and wife have a vital role to play in reflecting Christ through it. But in Ephesians 5, Paul gives a direct and emphatic charge to husbands: love your wives as Christ loved the church. This is not casual affection or shallow commitment. It is a call to husbands to embrace a Christlike love.
As I imperfectly attempt to live this out in my own marriage, I find myself coming back to the teaching of the late author and pastor Warren Wiersbe. He provides three essential elements of a Christlike love and offers a helpful framework that unpacks how this kind of love can take root in our hearts as husbands and overflow into daily life with our wives.
1. It is a sacrificial love.
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…” — Ephesians 5:25 (NLT)
While this may require us to sacrifice our lives in the same way Christ gave his life for the church, it may also look like giving up the plan we have for our own lives in favor of our wives. As husbands, loving our wives sacrificially means willingly allowing her needs to be priority over our own.
This means not keeping tally. This means keeping no record of wrongs. This means choosing daily to think of her needs and desires first before ever thinking of our own.
There can be no selfishness when it comes to loving our wives as Christ loved the church. We say to our wives: “I am submitted to Christ, therefore I will serve you.”
2. It is a sanctifying love.
“…to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” — Ephesians 5:26 (NLT)
To be sanctified means to be “set apart.” As husbands, we are to love our wives in such a way that she becomes more like Christ — set apart — by being married to us.
This kind of love is not passive. It means speaking truth from God’s Word into her life, praying with her and for her, and creating an environment where Christ is honored in the home. Our love should point her toward Jesus, helping her become more radiant in her faith and more confident in who she is in Him.
Husbands, we are to look at our wives and ask, “Is she becoming more like Jesus?” If the answer is no, we must look at ourselves and ask, “Have I been serving her sacrificially as Christ served the church?”
3. It’s a satisfying love.
“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” — Ephesians 5:28 (NLT)
A husband’s love is to be nourishment for his wife. If the husband puts his wife’s needs first and is helping her become more like Christ, it is going to be satisfying to her.
In addition, Paul is saying that any husband who sacrificially loves and serves his wife is really caring for himself. When both spouses feel loved and cared for, it enables both to yield to the main goal of marriage outlined by Paul earlier in verse 21: to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
When mutual submission to one another and to Christ are present inside the covenant of marriage, joy and satisfaction will naturally be the result.
Reflection | Husbands, does your love make it easier for your wife to follow Jesus? Ask God to show you one practical way this week that you can serve, encourage, or sacrifice so that your wife is strengthened in her walk with Christ.
Prayer | Lord, thank You for the gift of my wife. Teach me to love her as You love the church with a sacrificial, purifying, and life-giving love. Help me to lead her closer to You, not through control but through service, humility, and grace. May my love for her reflect Your love for me. Amen.
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