Piece by Piece | Clear Instructions to Lasting Love
My husband and I recently went camping to get away and spend some time together before our 2nd anniversary. I don’t mind camping, but the idea of setting up the tent feels so overwhelming to me. I look at the pile of poles and fabric and clips and wonder how we’ll ever get it to become a structure.
As he was showing me how to put it together, though, I noticed that it couldn’t have been simpler. Each piece of the tent was clearly color-coded to match the other pieces it connected to. By working together and paying attention to the details, we were able to get it up in minutes.
We are still learning so much about marriage, but this experience reminded me of some of the ways we can work to create a strong marriage:
Read | Ephesians 5:21-30
As a self-proclaimed independent and strong-willed lady, it took me time to get a healthy grasp on these directions in Scripture. But as I’ve become more familiar with God’s perfect design in my life and my husband’s life, I can see how perfectly this scripture depicts a strong marriage. As my husband used his strength to bend each pole, I used my focus to hold it in place and make sure we were staying on track. When we realize that God gave us each important roles to complement each other, we’re able to lean into those strengths and trust the strengths of our spouse.
Read | Song of Solomon 2:1-17
Just like it was crucial for us to pay attention to the color-coding of the tent parts in order to be successful, it is so important in our marriage to pay attention to the small details. Knowing our spouses and seeing them in a deeper, more intimate way than the world sees them allows us to anticipate one another’s needs, show each other love, and grow in our understanding of each other. The Bible tells us to “catch the little foxes before they can spoil the vineyard.” In other words, it is our responsibility to seek out the small issues in our marriage and address them before they can do damage.
Read | Psalm 78:1-8
My wedding gift to my husband was a family Bible with these verses inscribed. A key motivation that we both shared in getting married was that we would teach our children to know the loving grace of our Father in Heaven, establishing generations to come that will know the goodness of God. If we had given up on setting up the tent before we were done, we would have been cold, wet, and miserable. In the same way, when things become difficult, we must set our eyes on the deeper purpose of our marriage: to honor God and make Him known to the world.
Reflect | What are the strengths you can bring to your marriage, or to your future marriage? In what ways do you or will you need to trust in the God-given strengths of your spouse in order to create a team that can fulfill His purpose? What small conflicts have you seen arise in your marriage that need to be addressed? What is the bigger goal of your marriage that you can return to when things get difficult?
Pray | Lord, I surrender my marriage to You. I trust in the ultimate plan and design You have for my spouse and me, and I want to be obedient to the role You’ve called me to. Help me to be awake to the intricacies and needs of my spouse and help us to grow in intimacy with each other and with You, that we might see each other as Your beloved creation and serve each other in the ways that the world does not see. When we feel frustrated or discouraged, help us to continue running the race. Remind us of Your greater purpose for our lives. Let our marriage be a reflection of Christ’s love to the world and establish a legacy of imperfect people who choose to trust a perfect Savior. May we never lose gratitude for the gift of our spouses! Amen.
As he was showing me how to put it together, though, I noticed that it couldn’t have been simpler. Each piece of the tent was clearly color-coded to match the other pieces it connected to. By working together and paying attention to the details, we were able to get it up in minutes.
We are still learning so much about marriage, but this experience reminded me of some of the ways we can work to create a strong marriage:
- Work with each other, not against each other.
Read | Ephesians 5:21-30
As a self-proclaimed independent and strong-willed lady, it took me time to get a healthy grasp on these directions in Scripture. But as I’ve become more familiar with God’s perfect design in my life and my husband’s life, I can see how perfectly this scripture depicts a strong marriage. As my husband used his strength to bend each pole, I used my focus to hold it in place and make sure we were staying on track. When we realize that God gave us each important roles to complement each other, we’re able to lean into those strengths and trust the strengths of our spouse.
- Pay attention to the small details.
Read | Song of Solomon 2:1-17
Just like it was crucial for us to pay attention to the color-coding of the tent parts in order to be successful, it is so important in our marriage to pay attention to the small details. Knowing our spouses and seeing them in a deeper, more intimate way than the world sees them allows us to anticipate one another’s needs, show each other love, and grow in our understanding of each other. The Bible tells us to “catch the little foxes before they can spoil the vineyard.” In other words, it is our responsibility to seek out the small issues in our marriage and address them before they can do damage.
- Keep the end goal in mind.
Read | Psalm 78:1-8
My wedding gift to my husband was a family Bible with these verses inscribed. A key motivation that we both shared in getting married was that we would teach our children to know the loving grace of our Father in Heaven, establishing generations to come that will know the goodness of God. If we had given up on setting up the tent before we were done, we would have been cold, wet, and miserable. In the same way, when things become difficult, we must set our eyes on the deeper purpose of our marriage: to honor God and make Him known to the world.
Reflect | What are the strengths you can bring to your marriage, or to your future marriage? In what ways do you or will you need to trust in the God-given strengths of your spouse in order to create a team that can fulfill His purpose? What small conflicts have you seen arise in your marriage that need to be addressed? What is the bigger goal of your marriage that you can return to when things get difficult?
Pray | Lord, I surrender my marriage to You. I trust in the ultimate plan and design You have for my spouse and me, and I want to be obedient to the role You’ve called me to. Help me to be awake to the intricacies and needs of my spouse and help us to grow in intimacy with each other and with You, that we might see each other as Your beloved creation and serve each other in the ways that the world does not see. When we feel frustrated or discouraged, help us to continue running the race. Remind us of Your greater purpose for our lives. Let our marriage be a reflection of Christ’s love to the world and establish a legacy of imperfect people who choose to trust a perfect Savior. May we never lose gratitude for the gift of our spouses! Amen.
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