Keep Jesus At The Center | The Way of Grace, Part 5
Key Truth | The healthiest relationships do not take the place of Jesus; they continually help one another move closer to Him.
Key Scripture | “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…”— Galatians 5:22 NLT
Even good relationships can become unhealthy when we ask another person to carry something only Jesus was meant to carry.
We can begin looking to a spouse to make us feel complete, a friend to give us constant affirmation, a child to make us feel needed, or a leader to give us direction that should ultimately come from God.
Without realizing it, we can place enormous expectations on people.
We need them to make us feel secure.
We need them to agree with us.
We need them to respond a certain way.
And when they cannot meet those expectations, and eventually they will not, we become disappointed, frustrated, or controlling.
Grace-based relationships keep Jesus at the center.
That means I can love you deeply without asking you to become my source. I can value your wisdom without making your approval my identity. I can walk beside you without trying to become your Savior.
Our relationships should help point one another toward Christ. That changes the goal.
Instead of asking, How can I get this person to become what I need? we begin asking, How can I encourage what God is doing in their life?
Instead of needing people to depend entirely on us, we help them depend more fully on Jesus.
Galatians describes the fruit of the Spirit as both goodness and faithfulness. We often celebrate God’s faithfulness, and we should. We remember the prayers He answered, the doors He opened, and the times He carried us through.
But there is something beautiful about slowing down long enough to experience His goodness too.
God is not merely dependable. He is good.
When we become secure in His goodness, we stop demanding that people fill every empty place in us. We become freer to love instead of cling, encourage instead of control, and serve instead of use.
And our relationships become places where people encounter a little more of the heart of Jesus.
Maybe that is one of the greatest gifts we can give the people we love: not making ourselves indispensable to them, but continually reminding them of the One who actually is.
Look at the relationships that matter most to you and ask: Does this relationship consistently move us toward Jesus?
Then consider your own role. Rather than focusing on what another person should do differently, ask God how you can encourage, model, and make room for a deeper dependence on Him.
Reflection
Prayer | Jesus, I want You to remain at the center of every relationship in my life. Forgive me for the times I have expected people to provide something only You can give. Help me love others freely without controlling them, depending on their approval, or trying to become their source. Let my life continually point people toward Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your grace. Amen.
Additional Scripture
Key Scripture | “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…”— Galatians 5:22 NLT
Even good relationships can become unhealthy when we ask another person to carry something only Jesus was meant to carry.
We can begin looking to a spouse to make us feel complete, a friend to give us constant affirmation, a child to make us feel needed, or a leader to give us direction that should ultimately come from God.
Without realizing it, we can place enormous expectations on people.
We need them to make us feel secure.
We need them to agree with us.
We need them to respond a certain way.
And when they cannot meet those expectations, and eventually they will not, we become disappointed, frustrated, or controlling.
Grace-based relationships keep Jesus at the center.
That means I can love you deeply without asking you to become my source. I can value your wisdom without making your approval my identity. I can walk beside you without trying to become your Savior.
Our relationships should help point one another toward Christ. That changes the goal.
Instead of asking, How can I get this person to become what I need? we begin asking, How can I encourage what God is doing in their life?
Instead of needing people to depend entirely on us, we help them depend more fully on Jesus.
Galatians describes the fruit of the Spirit as both goodness and faithfulness. We often celebrate God’s faithfulness, and we should. We remember the prayers He answered, the doors He opened, and the times He carried us through.
But there is something beautiful about slowing down long enough to experience His goodness too.
God is not merely dependable. He is good.
When we become secure in His goodness, we stop demanding that people fill every empty place in us. We become freer to love instead of cling, encourage instead of control, and serve instead of use.
And our relationships become places where people encounter a little more of the heart of Jesus.
Maybe that is one of the greatest gifts we can give the people we love: not making ourselves indispensable to them, but continually reminding them of the One who actually is.
Look at the relationships that matter most to you and ask: Does this relationship consistently move us toward Jesus?
Then consider your own role. Rather than focusing on what another person should do differently, ask God how you can encourage, model, and make room for a deeper dependence on Him.
Reflection
- Is there anyone whose approval, presence, or response has become more important to me than it should be?
- Do my closest relationships encourage greater dependence on Jesus—or greater dependence on people?
Prayer | Jesus, I want You to remain at the center of every relationship in my life. Forgive me for the times I have expected people to provide something only You can give. Help me love others freely without controlling them, depending on their approval, or trying to become their source. Let my life continually point people toward Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your grace. Amen.
Additional Scripture
- Hebrews 12:1–2
- Psalm 16:5–8
- John 15:9–12
- Colossians 1:17–18
- Galatians 6:9–10
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