The Perfect Love of the Father
Summertime is here, and with that comes new schedules for my boys and family, not nearly the hectic mornings that usually happen. As we approached summer this year, my oldest son Wes asked to begin working out with me. Honestly, I was a little shocked by the request. If you’ve ever raised a teenager, you know that during those years, you become the least knowledgeable person in their lives about anything! But it's been great. This time together at the gym has opened the door for what my dad would have called “by the way” conversations. It’s in those moments that I find the grace of God to be the dad I want to be. It’s in those moments that, hopefully, my boys will look back on and remember the time dad said ________ like I look back on and remember those countless moments with my dad.
It was at such a moment, recently, that my son asked me a very stirring question. In between the grunting of sets, he asked, “Dad, is love greater than fear?”
What a question. It’s hard for me not to respond as a pastor. I’m trying to learn what it means to respond with my heart and not my head. In my head are all the scriptures I’ve read, messages I’ve preached, and training I’ve had; but for some reason, this question from my 15-year-old caused me to pause.
Part of parenting is learning that God is speaking to you through your kid instead of you trying to be the voice of God to them. In this moment, this was most certainly the case.
I asked him a question in return. (I used to hate when my dad did that to me. One of the small pleasures of parenting is doing to our kids what our parents did to us.) “Son, what do you think the Bible says?” Then without a moment’s pause, he said, “I know that God’s love is greater than fear, but I’m asking if ours is greater than fear.”
Wow.
Since the question had been asked only a few moments earlier, I felt the Holy Spirit had brought to my remembrance the following scripture:
“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.” - 1 John 4:16-19 NLT
Perfect love expels all fear. As a father, I wrestle with my own weakness, my own failure, and my own shortcomings. In truth, there is no one more acquainted, aside from Lauren, than Wes and David in how broken I still am. My love for them, while vast, is far from PERFECT; yet that’s not the goal of fathering.
The whole reason I exist and breathe oxygen is to point them to the perfect Father. Along this journey of life, I get to be vulnerable with my sons and show them my brokenness, to show them where I fall short, and to testify to how I’ve encountered the love of a perfect Father. I was fortunate to have an earthly father that did.
It's an interesting thing. When you lose a great dad like I had that so many loved, his memory gets memorialized. Over the years since my dad’s passing, I’ve laughed with my friends about how so many, with all the good intentions, remember my dad as a saint. The thing I loved most about my father, and the reason I honor him so much, is not his perfection but his honesty in his failures. He simply allowed me, as his son, to see his brokenness. While many remember what they wanted him to be, I remember who he truly was. He truly was a human who had shortcomings and failures but who loved Jesus and pointed his family to the Father.
Today, remember that our love for our children will not solve the fear that the enemy intends for their lives. The only love that can do that is the Heavenly Father’s love. My job, as a father, is to point them to Him and to allow myself to be perfected by His love also. It’s a really cool perspective to realize that my son and I are on the same journey to discover the love of a perfect Father.
It was at such a moment, recently, that my son asked me a very stirring question. In between the grunting of sets, he asked, “Dad, is love greater than fear?”
What a question. It’s hard for me not to respond as a pastor. I’m trying to learn what it means to respond with my heart and not my head. In my head are all the scriptures I’ve read, messages I’ve preached, and training I’ve had; but for some reason, this question from my 15-year-old caused me to pause.
Part of parenting is learning that God is speaking to you through your kid instead of you trying to be the voice of God to them. In this moment, this was most certainly the case.
I asked him a question in return. (I used to hate when my dad did that to me. One of the small pleasures of parenting is doing to our kids what our parents did to us.) “Son, what do you think the Bible says?” Then without a moment’s pause, he said, “I know that God’s love is greater than fear, but I’m asking if ours is greater than fear.”
Wow.
Since the question had been asked only a few moments earlier, I felt the Holy Spirit had brought to my remembrance the following scripture:
“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.” - 1 John 4:16-19 NLT
Perfect love expels all fear. As a father, I wrestle with my own weakness, my own failure, and my own shortcomings. In truth, there is no one more acquainted, aside from Lauren, than Wes and David in how broken I still am. My love for them, while vast, is far from PERFECT; yet that’s not the goal of fathering.
The whole reason I exist and breathe oxygen is to point them to the perfect Father. Along this journey of life, I get to be vulnerable with my sons and show them my brokenness, to show them where I fall short, and to testify to how I’ve encountered the love of a perfect Father. I was fortunate to have an earthly father that did.
It's an interesting thing. When you lose a great dad like I had that so many loved, his memory gets memorialized. Over the years since my dad’s passing, I’ve laughed with my friends about how so many, with all the good intentions, remember my dad as a saint. The thing I loved most about my father, and the reason I honor him so much, is not his perfection but his honesty in his failures. He simply allowed me, as his son, to see his brokenness. While many remember what they wanted him to be, I remember who he truly was. He truly was a human who had shortcomings and failures but who loved Jesus and pointed his family to the Father.
Today, remember that our love for our children will not solve the fear that the enemy intends for their lives. The only love that can do that is the Heavenly Father’s love. My job, as a father, is to point them to Him and to allow myself to be perfected by His love also. It’s a really cool perspective to realize that my son and I are on the same journey to discover the love of a perfect Father.
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1 Comment
Good stuff Pastor Aaron!! Thank you