Chosen by the Father
Father's Day brings a lot of emotions for me. Every year around this time, I can’t help but think about my story and my journey of discovering who my father was.
In July 2011, I had just moved halfway across the country to Greenville, NC, to work at Opendoor Church. My wife and I had a month-old baby and were settling into a totally new environment. During that time, I found out some news that would forever change my life. I was told by my parents that the man who had raised me my entire life was not my biological father.
This was news that I honestly didn't know how to process, so I did what I naturally knew how to do: suppress it. I pushed it way, way down and tried to go on living life like nothing had ever happened.
As you could imagine, that didn’t go too well at all. My relationship with my parents was crumbling, I began to deal with panic attacks, and my trust in those around me was struggling. My identity had been totally rocked, and I had no idea who I was. Safe to say, I wasn’t doing so well.
Around that time, I had some very close friends who strongly suggested that I find a counselor to help me navigate this season. This began a journey that would change my life forever!
A few years and many therapy sessions later, I was sitting in a room across from my therapist, and we were discussing what was next for me in my journey of healing. We were looking at my relationship with my father. You see, he and my mother split up when I was two years old. So from the time I was two until the day he shared the truth with me, I thought I was just growing up in a split home like many kids do. After the news, I couldn’t help but think that I was a charity case that he felt sorry for. Our relationship suffered because I didn’t feel like I really belonged.
So I was sitting in this session, contemplating what step to take next, and the Father softly whispered a truth that would change everything for me. He said, “Son, your dad is the greatest example in your life of me. He chose to call you his own when he didn’t have to. He chose to love you and show up when he wasn’t required to. He has been an example in your life that represents me.”
In that moment, I saw my dad differently than I ever had before. But what changed everything was how I saw my Heavenly Father. You see, the truest form of love we can ever experience is the love that comes with a choice. Our Father chose us when He didn’t have to. He set His love on us and showed up when He wasn’t required to. He set His love on us, and no matter what we do, it doesn’t change.
My Father has been so good to me, even when I couldn’t see it. I could have grown up without a dad, but He sent me one of the best. When I first found out the news, it didn’t feel like something I would choose, but now I wouldn’t change it for anything. It taught me something about Him that I probably wouldn’t know without it.
As we are in this Father’s Day season, my encouragement to you is to take a few moments today and ask God to reveal to you moments where He has provided something only He could. Ask Him to show you His love. Ask Him to see the times where He has been a good Father. In this season, I believe God wants to show you that He loves being your Father.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. - Romans 8:15-17
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” - John 3:16
In July 2011, I had just moved halfway across the country to Greenville, NC, to work at Opendoor Church. My wife and I had a month-old baby and were settling into a totally new environment. During that time, I found out some news that would forever change my life. I was told by my parents that the man who had raised me my entire life was not my biological father.
This was news that I honestly didn't know how to process, so I did what I naturally knew how to do: suppress it. I pushed it way, way down and tried to go on living life like nothing had ever happened.
As you could imagine, that didn’t go too well at all. My relationship with my parents was crumbling, I began to deal with panic attacks, and my trust in those around me was struggling. My identity had been totally rocked, and I had no idea who I was. Safe to say, I wasn’t doing so well.
Around that time, I had some very close friends who strongly suggested that I find a counselor to help me navigate this season. This began a journey that would change my life forever!
A few years and many therapy sessions later, I was sitting in a room across from my therapist, and we were discussing what was next for me in my journey of healing. We were looking at my relationship with my father. You see, he and my mother split up when I was two years old. So from the time I was two until the day he shared the truth with me, I thought I was just growing up in a split home like many kids do. After the news, I couldn’t help but think that I was a charity case that he felt sorry for. Our relationship suffered because I didn’t feel like I really belonged.
So I was sitting in this session, contemplating what step to take next, and the Father softly whispered a truth that would change everything for me. He said, “Son, your dad is the greatest example in your life of me. He chose to call you his own when he didn’t have to. He chose to love you and show up when he wasn’t required to. He has been an example in your life that represents me.”
In that moment, I saw my dad differently than I ever had before. But what changed everything was how I saw my Heavenly Father. You see, the truest form of love we can ever experience is the love that comes with a choice. Our Father chose us when He didn’t have to. He set His love on us and showed up when He wasn’t required to. He set His love on us, and no matter what we do, it doesn’t change.
My Father has been so good to me, even when I couldn’t see it. I could have grown up without a dad, but He sent me one of the best. When I first found out the news, it didn’t feel like something I would choose, but now I wouldn’t change it for anything. It taught me something about Him that I probably wouldn’t know without it.
As we are in this Father’s Day season, my encouragement to you is to take a few moments today and ask God to reveal to you moments where He has provided something only He could. Ask Him to show you His love. Ask Him to see the times where He has been a good Father. In this season, I believe God wants to show you that He loves being your Father.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. - Romans 8:15-17
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” - John 3:16
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2 Comments
It was excellent.
Good read this morning in the mountains of North Carolina. Our Heavenly Father loves us, sets us upon the right path, instructs us, and leads us through the fires and valleys. He is my Abba Father.
nLast year my prostate cancer progressed to the point that we had to do something about it. God brought several people into our lives who helped point us toward a treatment plan that we had never heard of. We also were constantly reminded of just how very many people were praying for us and checking in on us. Opportunities and reminders kept popping up so frequently that we started calling them "Godwinks". We were even provided with a wonderful place to stay while I underwent the treatments out of state, saving us thousands of dollars. The new friends who hosted us lived less than ten minutes from the treatment facility.
nGod blessed us immensely during this entire season of my life. I am now cured of prostate cancer, and that's a wonderful thing. But the most noteworthy result of this journey is how much closer I have allowed God to come to me. It has even made my relationship with my wife even closer and stronger. We both acknowledge and praise the Father for His love and his constant, tangible reminders of who we are.....in Him.
nHallelujah!