Heart Work is Hard Work
Just recently, I had an encounter with someone who was grieving their tomorrow. It was a special memory, but now the day hits differently because of the absence of a loved one. Have you ever done that very thing? Dreaded or grieved on a date before it even happened? Maybe you have grieved the reminder of a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one, a birthday or anniversary that stings every year when it arrives.
The very thing that once flooded your heart with amazing memories now brings sadness. We have two choices: we can embrace the memory and all it brings or we can run from it and ignore our reality.
I have thought about this a lot over the past few years, through my own losses, disappointments, and life transitions. Heart work is hard work. No matter how much we want to move on from our current situation or dismiss our feelings in the moment, this will never serve us or those that love us well. It will only delay our healing and steal our peace.
When Paul wrote Romans from a prison cell, he spoke clearly about his circumstances and his feelings. The key word Paul uses is LEARN.
I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret [of being content]-whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:12-13 CSB
When we allow the Holy Spirit to control the narrative rather than us, Jesus‘ voice sounds like this for you and me.
READ: His word revives us. Insert your name in the following statement and read aloud.
Hey , (Your Name) you are My child. I created you, and all of your thoughts and emotions are safe in my presence. (Your Name ), it will be hard at first , but sharing these emotions with Me and God-loving people will lighten the load of your season. (Your Name), your circumstance may not change, but you were never meant to walk this life alone. I made you for relationship. Trust and learn from Me.
This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your word has given me life. - Psalm 119:15 NKJV
PRAY: Let your requests be known to God. Name the pain and give it to Him, every single day. He is trustworthy.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Phillipians 4:6-7
ACTIVATE : Tell someone. Share your feelings to lift one another up, share your burdens. It’s one thing to feel your feelings, but it's another to share those feelings with others. I don’t get it right every time, and it can feel awkward. I find when I do share, it’s like the Holy Spirit meets me in my reality and comforts me with tears, and others tears too. Don’t be surprised if in certain situations, your tears take on the form of laughter because that’s how good Jesus is. Laughter may not fix it, but you will leave lighter, being in a faith-filled community with others. He will take what the enemy meant for evil and use it for good.
JOIN: Take a step of faith and join a Small Group with a community of believers.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. - Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
The very thing that once flooded your heart with amazing memories now brings sadness. We have two choices: we can embrace the memory and all it brings or we can run from it and ignore our reality.
I have thought about this a lot over the past few years, through my own losses, disappointments, and life transitions. Heart work is hard work. No matter how much we want to move on from our current situation or dismiss our feelings in the moment, this will never serve us or those that love us well. It will only delay our healing and steal our peace.
When Paul wrote Romans from a prison cell, he spoke clearly about his circumstances and his feelings. The key word Paul uses is LEARN.
I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret [of being content]-whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:12-13 CSB
When we allow the Holy Spirit to control the narrative rather than us, Jesus‘ voice sounds like this for you and me.
READ: His word revives us. Insert your name in the following statement and read aloud.
Hey , (Your Name) you are My child. I created you, and all of your thoughts and emotions are safe in my presence. (Your Name ), it will be hard at first , but sharing these emotions with Me and God-loving people will lighten the load of your season. (Your Name), your circumstance may not change, but you were never meant to walk this life alone. I made you for relationship. Trust and learn from Me.
This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your word has given me life. - Psalm 119:15 NKJV
PRAY: Let your requests be known to God. Name the pain and give it to Him, every single day. He is trustworthy.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Phillipians 4:6-7
ACTIVATE : Tell someone. Share your feelings to lift one another up, share your burdens. It’s one thing to feel your feelings, but it's another to share those feelings with others. I don’t get it right every time, and it can feel awkward. I find when I do share, it’s like the Holy Spirit meets me in my reality and comforts me with tears, and others tears too. Don’t be surprised if in certain situations, your tears take on the form of laughter because that’s how good Jesus is. Laughter may not fix it, but you will leave lighter, being in a faith-filled community with others. He will take what the enemy meant for evil and use it for good.
JOIN: Take a step of faith and join a Small Group with a community of believers.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. - Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
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3 Comments
I found these words to be so true. The third year anniversary of Dan's passing is August 14 and every year I start grieving the week of...after that day, I am 'all good'. I can feel sad but I can now have laughter as well. It is concerning to me to see our daughters compartmentalize his passing. I do know that being involved in a couple small groups has been a safe and supportive place for me to share with others.
Love this!!
Very well put