Do Not Grieve Him, Part 4 | A Softer Heart in a Sharper World

Key Thought | The evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work in us is not louder opinions, but softer hearts.

Key Scripture | “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭30‬-‭32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Recently, we discussed this passage. Before we move on completely, I want to look at the final verse…

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Over the past few weeks, the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me deeply about this. Periodically, throughout the years, I’ve received my share of criticism—some of it fair, some of it not. And when it comes, I tend to fall into one of two ditches: I either rise up to defend myself and grow angry, or I retreat inward and shrink back.

We live in such a polarizing culture—one that judges without asking questions, thrives on criticism, and treats sharp words and even sharper opinions as normal. Yet Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, calls us to a powerful “instead.”

• Be kind.
• Be tenderhearted.
• Forgive each other.
• Remember Jesus forgave you.

That’s the list. The only list that matters. In this season, I’ve deleted all the social media apps on my phone. I’ve stopped taking the bait of what people send me talking about this other church and what they are doing, and what this pastor has done. I’ve realized that whatever my eyes are fixed on will determine my peace and my posture. So, therefore, I must fix my eyes on Him.

It seems that everything around us is attacking our hearts, trying to destroy any empathy or tenderheartedness we have left. Yet there is still One who, when we make space for Him, softens us. He pulls us out of the noise, reminds us that He is still at work, and assures us that better days are ahead. His name is the Holy Spirit.

Do you know Him?

As we close this series, don’t just admire the work of the Holy Spirit—yield to Him. Invite Him to search your heart, remove bitterness, and restore tenderness. The world does not need louder Christians; it needs Spirit-formed ones.

Prayer | Holy Spirit, Thank You for not giving up on my heart. When the world tries to harden me, soften me. When I am tempted to react in anger or withdraw in fear, form Christ in me instead. Remove bitterness, pride, and defensiveness. Teach me to be kind when it’s easier to be sharp, tenderhearted when it feels safer to shut down, and forgiving when my flesh wants to hold on. Quiet the noise around me so I can hear Your voice within me. Shape my posture, my words, and my responses so that I reflect Jesus. Amen.

Reflections

• Where have I felt my heart hardening recently—toward a person, a situation, or a conversation? What might the Holy Spirit be inviting me to release?
• Before my next response—whether in person, by text, or online—what would it look like to pause and choose the Spirit’s “instead”?

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